


Namennayo!

by Akaicchi



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Hopeful Ending, M/M, POV First Person, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 01:58:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14558358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaicchi/pseuds/Akaicchi
Summary: Ten years post-canon, Teddie has been insinuating he has feelings for Ryoutarou. Ryoutarou’s not having it, or at least that’s what he’s been telling himself.





	Namennayo!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RibbonOnline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RibbonOnline/gifts).



> “Namennayo” literally means “don’t lick me” and is connoted as “don’t fuck with me”. I got the title idea from a comic in the Dengeki P4GA Comic Anthology where Nameneko are referenced.
> 
> A gift for Riqqon, who could use a little pick-me-up~ :3
> 
> Beta'd by KatoriAeku!!  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatoriAeku/pseuds/KatoriAeku)
> 
> This is the first part to a series. I've got eleven chapters either written or outlined, but they need work. Look forward to it, please!

Namennayo!  
(Ryoutarou) 

_Has it really been ten years for this crew?_

I sit on my couch, already worn out from all the visitors, and all they’ve done is arrive and eat. _It’s great, getting to see my nephew so often, but all these friends he drags over... I see a most of them around town all the time, anyhow._

The only ones who’ve moved are Yuu and Yousuke to Okina, while Naoto and Rise both live in Tokyo. The rest have settled in town or nearby. _And Tohru..._

That guy lives here, with myself and Nanako. I decided it was the best way to handle everything. I’m one of his few friends, and Nanako likes him too. It wouldn’t be easy for someone like him to get a rental—or a job—on his own.

I’m retired; left the force two years ago, and have been spending most of my days at Kanji’s shop. I help—Mostly. He did me the favor of giving Tohru a job, so it’s the least I can do. Teddie also works there, and is a bigger help than I ever would’ve expected.

 _That guy always struck me as the flighty, flaky type._ Thought he was missing a few brain cells. Turns out he’s very creative and quick on the uptake. He’s learned so many techniques and complicated ways to produce fabrics, yarns, and designs. Tohru matches Ted in productivity, so I’m the lame duck—Not that I’m being paid, but it irks me nonetheless.

Kanji runs that place with a competence I’ve always known he was capable of. He’s become a real people-person. I’m happy he’s finally putting all that vim and vigor to good use.

The biggest change however, is Natsuko. The newest addition to my household is a Shiba puppy Nanako decided would make a good friend for me. I objected—both loudly and profusely—but the dog ended up living with us nonetheless. She’s six months old; we got her two weeks ago.

I’ve been taking the dog everywhere with me. She joins me on my usual walks, tags along to Kanji’s shop, and I’ve even let her follow me into stores when I run errands. Everyone seems too deferential to say anything about dogs not being allowed into buildings, so it’s been fine. I’ve got a new friend, Nanako’s thrilled, and Tohru’s warming up.

Today, the kids are hogging my pup and I’ve been relegated to the background. I finish yet another beer, then set the bottle on the floor. The path to the refrigerator is blocked by so many bodies, and there’s so much commotion that I don’t even want to attempt to fight my way through the people. I lean back and doze, knowing they’ll wake me if it’s important.

I must have fallen asleep, as I’m awoken by a slight breeze. I open my eyes to find the sliding door has been left open, and I can hear voices drifting in from outside. The living room is quiet, and I’d think I was alone except for the pressure on my leg.

I glance down to find that it’s not my dog, but Teddie, who’s fallen asleep on me. My face crinkles into a frown, annoyance creeping up that he’s got the audacity to use me as a cushion. I’m about to shove him away when I notice Natsuko nestled next to him. Ted’s on his side, with my dog cuddled under his arm. _If I move him, I’ll wake her, and I’d feel badly about that._

_—When did I get so soft?_

Sighing, I realize I won’t do it. I’d feel like an ass.

“...Geez,” I mutter. I drum my fingers on the arm of the couch to ease my agitation.

It’s not long before Kanji wanders inside, though. He does a double-take at this odd scene, then guffaws. “Did you say he could—”

“What do you think?” I quip.

I roll my eyes as Kanji walks over. He softly pats Teddie’s head until the guy rouses, startling awake. His eyes jump open and look right into my own. I flinch at the sharpness of his gaze; daring to wonder if he was even sleeping in the first place. _He’s too aware for someone who just woke._

“Don’t be a pain, Ted,” Kanji chides, motioning for him to get up. “Leave the old man alone.” Kanji grins and I give him a look. It only makes him laugh again.

Teddie, on the other hand, guardedly latches onto my leg. “I wanna sit with Doujima,” he protests.

“I want,” I shake my head, trying to come up with something plausible. “Another drink.”

Kanji raises his eyebrows and Teddie sighs, then rises. He scoops up little Natsuko before I have a chance to take my dog back. I shoot Kanji a sour look, but he only shrugs.

Ted walks over to the fridge and takes out two bottles of beer, cracks them open, and hands me one. He smiles in a way that says he knows he’s getting under my skin. “You’re not cute,” I grumble, taking the bottle from him.

Laughing, Kanji slaps his friend’s back. “Damn straight he’s cute, and knows it.”

“When’s the last time you drank?” I question, having a sip. It goes down smooth, the crisp coolness of the drink breaking up the heat of the afternoon. I breathe out; I know it’ll only make me hotter later on, but for now it’s worth it.

“You know he only drinks when you do, asshole,” Kanji comments, folding his arms and staring me down. “So last weekend, I guess.” Kanji glares at the floor. _I’ve been getting the feeling he disapproves of Teddie drinking with Tohru and I._

_They’re all adults now, there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be able to. Kanji’s aversion to alcohol is his own business—He doesn’t need to drag Ted down with him._

We have a standoff while I chug the rest. I grab two more and head outside. I’m sure I can find some corner away from the rest of the party. I hear Kanji complaining that Ted shouldn’t have a second as I slip around the side of the house.

I sit by myself for a long time before anyone catches up with me. I’ve finished the beers I’ve brought with me, but don’t feel like getting up to grab more. I heard a group of kids break off some time ago to take a walk to the riverbank.

“Natsuko, wait up!!” Teddie suddenly calls. _Of course he’s still here._

I can hear the little Shiba’s claws padding on the cement. I lean against the house, waiting for the happy pup and overeager boy to round the corner.

“Wait up!!” Ted calls, chasing the small dog.

Natsuko runs right up to me, tongue lolling, and sits between my legs. I pat her head and she sneezes.

Teddie’s right behind Natsuko, and he flops down almost on top of me. “Oi!” I yelp, yanking my leg back so he doesn’t break my knee.

“What?” Teddie questions, smiling up at me. He rolls into his back, scooping up Natsuko. I pull my knees to my chest, trying to give him space and get the hell away.

 _He’s been really testing boundaries—and my patience—lately._ Today especially, he keeps sitting practically on top of me. I don’t know how much more I can take. And hogging my Natsuko isn’t winning him any points.

I shouldn’t be so irked, but I can’t help it. “Let her be,” I scold, snatching my pup back. When I set Natsuko down, she jumps up on me, licking my face. “That’s a good girl.” I smile at the dog, not noticing that Ted has taken the chance to get even closer to me.

“You really like me, huh?” I ask my small dog. _Natsuko has a knack for taking away my stress,_ I think as I become absorbed in scratching behind her ear.

Then I feel a lick on my other cheek—

I freeze. It can’t be Natsuko.

It _can’t_ be Teddie.

_Please tell me that wasn’t—_

I look to my left and— _What the—_

_It was?_

_...No. Ugh, come on!_

“Ted, _what_ —” I sternly grumble, jerking my head backwards and away from him.

He follows, leaning towards me, nuzzling his cheek against mine. “I like you, too!” the simpleton beams at me. “I _love_ you!”

I blink, surprised at his proclamation. “N—No you don’t,” I sigh after a minute. “You’re drunk; cool off.”

“Yes I do~” Teddie whines, wrapping his skinny arms around my neck. “I always tell you I like you. But I really _love_ you.”

I breathe out heavily, tired and hot, and twist around until his hands have fallen down to my torso instead. Natsuko settles between us and curls up. Teddie’s leaning against my other leg, looking half-asleep. I close my eyes and rest my head against the house. _He’s a bit drunk. I’ll allow it._

_Just for a few minutes._

I pet my dog with one hand, and place the other on Ted’s back. It’s not the end of the world, sitting like this. Natsuko’s happy and Teddie’s quiet. The sun is starting to creep below neighboring rooftops and a slight breeze carries the promise of a cooler evening.

 _Likes me, huh?_ I turn Teddie’s words over in my head, knowing logically that he means what he said as a friendly truism. _There’s no other possible meaning, despite the words he used._

But I can’t help reading too into it— _No one’s told me they love me in years._

I have great affection for all the people here today, but if I’m honest, Teddie is someone I often overlook. He’s always around, getting underfoot and causing a ruckus. He’s got his positive qualities, but they’re often overshadowed by how he grates on my nerves.

He’s matured over the years, but still retains much of his childlike personality. He’s always positive and cheery, something that aggravates me when I’m feeling down... Even though he uses his upbeat attitude to make people—myself included—forget what’s bothering them and live in the moment.

_Ted deserves a fresh look from me. He’s become a vital part of my circle, and my life, and I should take into account the man he’s become instead of picturing the kid in the bearsuit I first met so many years ago._

_He adds a lot to my life. I’ll..._

_I’ll be more patient when he wakes up._

As for what he said, I need to remember that liquor romanticizes everything. _I‘ll uphold the careful lines I’ve drawn in my head. The walls I’d built up around myself after Tohru._

_It was a flippant, innocent comment._

_This guy’s always been prone to exaggeration and overexuberance. Can’t let myself get funny thoughts from a stupid statement like that._

Committed to that train of thought, I allow myself to doze off as well. I’m almost out when I catch Teddie mumbling in his sleep.

“—do love you, Doujima-san,” he indignantly whispers.

I crack my eyes open for a second to make sure he’s still out, but the guy’s eyes are open. He doesn’t notice my gaze, just continues to stare flatly at my chest. “Why don’t you ever believe me?”

Teddie sighs and closes his eyes again, while mine remain open. I stare incredulously at the young man till the strain hurts and I have to blink. I don’t want to acknowledge his words.

Teddie _has_ said that he likes me before, but I’ve dismissed it the way I dismiss similar sentiments from Tohru. _That part of my life is over. I don’t want or need to be liked. I’m fine on my own, with my family, my friends, and my dog._

_And I’m sure not going to change my tune for this naive boy._

I watch the yard grow dark, wondering how long I’ll be trapped beneath my dog and my sleeping companion. It’s not unpleasant, sitting with them heaped on top of me. Rather, it’s something I’d like not to make a habit of. I don’t want any of the others thinking it’s acceptable to use me like a pillow.

It’s dark before Teddie wakes up. He rubs his eyes and stretches, then looks up at me disarmingly. “That was nice.” Natsuko wakes up when he pets her, then jumps over my leg and chases a bug through the grass.

I press my lips into a thin line, trying not to smile easily, as I definitely could right now. “Don’t fall asleep like that again,” I censure.

Ted’s face falls. “But it was—”

I stand, gently pushing Teddie away from me and he stops speaking. My eyes follow Natsuko, running in little circles in front of us whimpering. She obviously wants dinner. “I have to feed Natsuko.”

I glance at Teddie out of the corner of my eye as he stands. He opens his mouth to speak again, but I cut him off once more. “It’d be best to forget about the things you said earlier. You’re a good kid—” I have to pause when I say that word that I know keeps separation between us because I see Ted flinch away. “—And I enjoy being with you, but that’s all we are: friends. You can’t try to change our relationship, because I won’t participate.”

“Why not?” he immediately questions.

_Don’t have it in me. Don’t have the hope or the idealism necessary to envision an intimate relationship working out anymore. Not after the one-two knockout that was Chisato and then Tohru._

So I feed him the same platitude I told myself earlier: “I’ve closed the door on that part of my life.”

“Then open it,” Ted replies, bending down to pick Natsuko up. “Doors close _and_ open. I can help...” He plays with the puppy, holding her like a child and rubbing her belly. I almost smile, but remain stern.

“I’m gonna go feed her for you, okay?” he interrupts my thoughts, delicately waving Natsuko’s paw at me. The guy walks off, talking to my dog, and I’m left in the darkness of the yard by myself.

_‘Doors close and open’, huh?_

_Not this one. Not when I’ve locked myself out._ I chuckle to the empty night, keeping up the metaphor.

As I walk around to the sliding glass, I can hear Teddie and Tohru arguing over who gets to feed my dog and I sigh. I peer inside and see my nephew laughing at the two morons, while Yukiko stealthily feeds the puppy out of her hand while they bicker.

I shut the door and lock it, and everyone turns to me. They’re all still staring at me while I walk back to my seat on the couch. I frown, wondering what the hell they’re looking at.

Yukiko giggles and Chie elbows her, rolling her eyes. I sweep my eyes around the room. Yousuke stares at the floor and Naoto averts her gaze. Kanji fiddles with his mobile before shoving it into his pocket. Tohru glares at Teddie, who grins amiably back at the other man.

“Wh-what?” I demand. Rise smirks, so I zero in on her. “Yes?” I fold my arms.

“We didn’t expect to see something so cute,” she snickers. ”Did no one send _you_ the picture?”

“What picture?” I shake my head.

The girl draws closer, tapping on her cell phone. “ _I_ didn’t take it, so you can’t be mad at me.” She holds her device out and I groan when I see what’s on there.

Someone was obviously leaning out the bathroom window without my noticing, and snapped a photo of me holding Teddie and Natsuko, both asleep and sprawled out on my lap.

My face feels hot as I push the phone away. “Who— _Who took this?!_ ” I snap, looking around.

Everyone is silent except for Yuu, who’s clearly having a hard time keeping a straight face. I scowl at my nephew and he smiles guiltily. “You can all delete that,” I order.

“But we look adorable!” Teddie whines, rushing over to my side to show me his copy. My brow twitches and I bite my tongue while more people quietly laugh; the tension broken by _this_ —

 _This winsome idiot._ I pinch the bridge of my nose, exasperated.

“I’ll send it to you, Doujima-san,” he chirps. He presses some buttons and I feel my own phone vibrate in my pocket. _Oh boy._

“I don’t want that,” I grudgingly complain, slapping my hand to my forehead. Thankfully, the others have gone back to their own business now, at least.

Teddie takes a seat next to me and grins shyly. “Why not?” I don’t have a good answer to give him, so the man elbows me and goes on. “Because of what I told you earlier? I didn’t tell you to upset you. I told you because it’s important to me— _You’re_ important to me.”

I look into his eyes and feel that he’s telling the truth, giving me his honest thoughts. I respect that, so I swallow down more protestations.

“You don’t have to accept my feelings, and you can think about it, too. You don’t...” Ted fidgets, thinking of how he wants to phrase how thoughts. “You don’t need to tell me right now. I’ll—” He sits up straighter and leans in close, looking sure of himself, but also slightly embarrassed. “I’ll figure out how to unlock the door, Doujima!”

I see him glance at the numerous other people in the room, making sure they’re busy with other things, before quickly licking my cheek again. “ _Dammit—_ ” I swear in a low voice, wiping my face while Teddie laughs.

“I can do it,” he insists.

I give him a withering look. “Stop it.”

“I _can_ ,” Teddie eagerly insists, nodding dramatically. “Give me a chance.” He bounces back and leans on his toes, crouched next to me on the sofa.

“Don’t overstep,” I warn. “And _don’t_ lick me!”

Ted kneads the couch cushion, looking away from me. “If I do that... Then you’ll take me seriously?” he quietly asks.

Running a hand through my hair, I let that rest between us for a beat. “No promises,” I caution. “But it’ll be more likely,” I grudgingly admit.

_I like..._

_Having you around. Having someone close._

I open my mouth to vocalize those things, but they won’t come out. I’m not ready yet, to be that honest. Even though he’s been getting closer to me lately, doing things that people have done in the past, it’s not the same. _I’m_ not the same.

“No promises,” I repeat instead.

Teddie nods slowly, absorbing my words. “Okay.” He doesn’t miss a beat.

I smile slowly, tentatively, and the guy returns it, scooting closer again. “No,” I wave him off. “Give me time and space and all. Get lost.”

His happy expression droops, but I quirk a grin as I pull out a cigarette and light it. Ted stands and faces me; he tips his head down and looms so I have to look up at him. “You promised.”

“I did.”

“Don’t forget it.”

“I won’t.” I blow a puff of smoke in his face, and Ted makes a choking sound. Then he turns on his heel and leaves me be, joining his friends in the kitchen.

Letting my head drop to the back of the couch, I stare at the ceiling. Natsuko finally scampers back over and nestles against me, curling up to sleep. I pet her absently, considering the things in my life that have lead me up to this point—

All the people and relationships and battles and celebrations and losses and reunions and trying times. I’m still here, somehow. I never gave up on anyone, including myself—Or at least that’s what I’d thought.

_So maybe it’s time to open up a little. Or to let someone try to pry me open._

_No promises._


End file.
